There was a time when ghosting felt like the rudest thing someone could do to you on a dating app. Now, in 2025, it almost feels quaint. As someone who's spent more time than I'd like to admit swiping, chatting, and trying to decode digital flirtation, I've realized that today's dating world comes with its own vocabulary. And knowing the lingo? It's survival.
This isn't about sounding cool. These words describe real emotional dynamics that can mess with your confidence and clarity if you don't see them for what they are. So, let me take you through my crash course in modern romance—one awkward, confusing, occasionally hilarious experience at a time.
- Benching: When You're Good Enough... For Later
The first time I was benched, I didn't even realize it. He kept texting me just enough to stay on my mind—but plans? Nope. We talked about coffee, dinner, a museum day. But he never followed through. I eventually understood: I was his back-up plan.
Benching in 2025 has become more systematized, thanks to dating apps that let you “bookmark” people. I've seen users create little rosters of “maybes” they check in on just often enough. If someone likes your story but never asks you out? Yep, you might be benched.
- Orbiting: When the Ghost Can't Let Go
This one's personal. A guy I briefly dated completely stopped replying—but somehow, he viewed every single one of my Instagram Stories and would occasionally like my tweets. That, my friend, is orbiting. You're not in a relationship, not even in a conversation, but somehow they're always there.
It's unsettling. And in 2025, where algorithms seem to serve you memories of people you're trying to forget, orbiting is practically an epidemic. I've learned to mute and unfollow, not because I'm bitter, but because peace > ghosts.
- Groundhogging: Dating Your Type... Again
You know the feeling: different profile, same person. I used to swipe on the same kind of guy—creative, intense, emotionally blocked—and be shocked when it didn't work out. That's groundhogging: replaying your worst patterns like a bad rom-com reboot.
2025's dating platforms make this even easier, showing you “similar matches” based on your swiping history. Eventually, I had to unlearn my own type and start choosing differently. When I did, dating got a lot more interesting.
- Vulturing: Relationship Doom-Spotting
There's a fine line between being a supportive friend and waiting like a hawk for someone's relationship to crash. Vulturing is hovering around someone who's taken, just in case they break up. I've been both the observer and the almost-target.
Nowadays, it's not uncommon to get flirty messages from people who know you're having relationship issues because they've seen your vague stories or read between the lines of your captions. My rule? If someone only checks in when I'm clearly struggling, I keep them at arm's length.
- Cloaking: Disappearing Like a Magician
This one hurt. We made solid plans, picked a time and place. Then... nothing. I got stood up. Worse, I was instantly blocked on every platform. That's cloaking.
In 2025, it takes one click to wipe someone out of your online life. It's a cowardly move, and I've learned not to take it personally. When someone cloaks, it says more about their inability to handle real connection than anything about me.
- Zombie-ing: The Text From the Undead
Just when you think you've moved on, they crawl back out of the shadows. Zombie-ing is when someone ghosts you, only to reappear out of nowhere. I got a “Hey, how've you been?” text from a guy who had vanished six months prior. Really?
In 2025, zombie-ing can be scheduled through AI or voice assistants. I've heard of people who use chatbots to send re-engagement messages. It's weirdly strategic. Unless someone offers genuine intention, I don't entertain digital zombies anymore.
- Caspering: Polite Rejection With a Smile
Not all ghosts are jerks. Caspering is ghosting with kindness—where someone says, “I really enjoyed meeting you, but I don't feel a spark.” It's rejection, yes, but respectful. I've done this and received it. It stings, but it's honest.
In 2025, Caspering has become more normalized. Some apps even offer templates to help users let someone down gently. I'm here for it. We all deserve basic courtesy.
- Wokefishing: Social Justice Catfishing
It sounds progressive until it isn't. Wokefishing is when someone pretends to care about causes or values they actually don't, just to seem more attractive. I once matched with a guy who claimed to be vegan, eco-conscious, and feminist. Then he ranted about “cancel culture” and ordered steak on our date.
Lesson learned. Ask real questions. Look for behavior, not buzzwords. If someone's activism ends at hashtags, it's probably a front.
- Firedooring: One-Sided Energy
Ever feel like a relationship is only open on one side? That's firedooring. You reach out, make plans, share your day—only to get replies when it's convenient for them.
Apps in 2025 now let you see things like who initiates contact more. When I noticed that I was always texting first, always waiting for a response, I took the hint. Affection should flow both ways, not just when someone's bored.
- Paperclipping: The Random Emotional Ping
This one still confuses me. Someone you barely dated or haven't spoken to in ages drops a "just thinking of you" message out of nowhere. No intention. No plan. Just... clutter.
It's called paperclipping, and it's as annoying as it sounds. I don't get excited by it anymore. If there's no follow-up or substance, I hit delete. My heart isn't an inbox for others' nostalgia.
Why This Lingo Matters More Than Ever
At first, I rolled my eyes at these terms. But now I see how much power there is in naming something. Once I could call out behaviors like firedooring or orbiting, I stopped feeling so confused. I started setting better boundaries. I started choosing myself.
In a time when love lives in DMs and dating apps feel like slot machines, having language for the weirdness helps. It gives us tools. It reminds us we're not alone.
So, whether you're benched, zombied, or just paperclipped—take a breath. Laugh if you can. Learn what you need. And remember: these aren't just words. They're signs you're in the modern dating game—and you're learning how to win it, one term at a time.
Here's to fluency in love's weirdest dialect.
This article could include affiliate links and reflects my personal experience and viewpoints. I recommend that readers carry out their own investigation and form their own conclusions before making any decisions.
