Online dating felt like the wild west when I first got into it. Endless profiles, dazzling photos, and promises of romance at the swipe of a finger. I was hopeful, maybe a little naïve, and certainly unprepared for the types of people I'd encounter. Over time, experience became my best teacher, and patterns started to emerge—patterns I now recognize as red flags.

Looking back, I wish I had trusted my gut earlier. But now, I see the signs more clearly, and I want to share them with anyone trying to navigate the online dating scene. These aren't just abstract tips—they're drawn from real interactions, both charming and disappointing.

The Glamorous Stranger with the Magazine Life

Let me start with the profiles that practically sparkle. You know the type—impossibly good-looking, jet-setting to exotic places, posting gym selfies with perfect lighting. Their bio reads like a resume mixed with a romance novel: entrepreneur, philanthropist, wine connoisseur, animal lover.

I used to swipe right on those profiles instantly. Now? I pause. Because too many times, those photos turned out to be stolen. Or the person behind them was more fiction than fact. The rule I follow now is simple: if someone looks like they were plucked from a commercial, I look deeper. Are there candid shots? Group photos? A consistent story between the bio and images?

When it's all flash and no substance, it's usually not real.

The Bare Minimum Profile

On the opposite end are the profiles that barely try. One blurry picture. A bio that reads “ask me.” Nothing filled in. At first, I gave the benefit of the doubt—maybe they were shy or just new to the app.

But here's the thing: online dating is all about presentation. If someone can't be bothered to share a few interests or upload more than one unclear photo, it tells me they're not putting in effort. And relationships, at the very least, need effort.

Bios That Sound Like Rants

I remember coming across a profile that said: “Sick of liars. If you're fake, don't even try. No games, no drama, no exes still in the picture.” It felt less like an invitation to connect and more like I was reading someone's breakup diary.

These “angry bios,” as I call them, usually reflect unresolved emotional wounds. They're looking for a therapist or a rebound, not a partner. I've learned that emotional health is non-negotiable, and if someone leads with bitterness, it's a peek into their mindset.

Objectification Disguised as Flirting

This one stung more than once. I'd match with someone, and within minutes they'd comment on my appearance in a way that made me uncomfortable. Not a compliment about my smile or my energy—just blunt, sexualized observations.

Don't get me wrong, attraction is important. But if the conversation starts and ends with your looks, it's usually not going anywhere meaningful. I used to think maybe I was being uptight, but now I know better. If someone makes you feel like an object instead of a person, you don't owe them politeness—you owe yourself distance.

Mixed Messages Between Photos and Text

There's something off-putting about someone who writes, “I'm looking for a serious relationship,” but all their photos show them partying shirtless at a beach club. Or someone who claims to love nature, but all their images are mirror selfies in the gym.

Inconsistent signals are confusing, and I've found they're often a preview of confusing behavior later. Now I look for alignment. I want to see authenticity—not just words, but evidence of the lifestyle they claim to live.

They Talk But Don't Connect

Here's a tricky one: the person who responds, but doesn't really engage. You ask a question, they answer. But they never ask anything back. You try to dive deeper, and they keep it on the surface.

At first, I thought maybe they were shy. But after experiencing this more than once, I realized some people just aren't available. Emotionally, mentally, or even logistically. If you're the only one steering the conversation, they're not really showing up.

A healthy connection feels reciprocal. Now, I listen for curiosity—not just interest in me, but a desire to actually connect.

The Fast-Forward Lover

There's a moment early on in some conversations when things take a turn. Suddenly, I'm being called “baby,” they're imagining our future together, and telling me how we're soulmates—even though we've exchanged maybe five messages.

It used to be flattering. Now it feels like a tactic—one I've come to know as “love bombing.” Moving too fast can be a manipulation tool, a way to draw someone in quickly before they can spot the flaws.

Now, I see emotional pacing as a key signal. Genuine connection grows slowly. If someone's trying to skip steps, I ask why—and usually, I don't like the answer.

Reluctance to Video Chat or Meet

This one is major. If someone always has an excuse for why they can't video chat, or why they're too busy to meet in person, it's a glaring red flag.

Once, I chatted with someone for two weeks. Great chemistry, fun conversations, good banter. But every time I asked to meet, there was an emergency. Eventually, I realized I was being strung along by someone who had no intention of showing up in real life.

Now, I give things a deadline. If we're not able to meet or at least video chat within a reasonable time frame, I move on. Online chemistry is meaningless without real-world follow-through.

The “Me Show”

Have you ever talked to someone who just... never asked about you? I have. Multiple times. They'll tell you about their job, their hobbies, their childhood dog, their gym schedule—but never once ask what you do or what makes you tick.

Those conversations feel more like interviews. And they're exhausting.

Now I pay close attention to emotional curiosity. A truly available person will ask. They'll listen. And they'll want to know who you are—not just tell you who they are.

Final Words: My Filters, My Peace

After years of using dating apps and learning the hard way, I've created my own system—a mental checklist, if you will. I've realized that being cautious isn't the same as being closed off. It's actually a form of self-respect.

Red flags exist for a reason. They're clues. And now, I follow them not with fear, but with clarity.

Dating is still exciting. It's still full of possibilities. But the more I've learned to spot what doesn't sit right with me, the closer I get to finding someone who does.

This article could include affiliate links and reflects my personal experience and viewpoints. I recommend that readers carry out their own investigation and form their own conclusions before making any decisions